I’m a huge information-gatherer so I get it – collecting more and more information feels so good.
It’s almost like you’re doing something.
And because it feels like you’re taking action, it prevents you from taking real action because you feel like you’re doing it already.
Today I’m going to cover the things that prevent people from moving into action and implementing The New Way to job search or change careers.
If coffee chats (aka The New Way) were easy, everyone would be doing them effortlessly and getting connected to jobs all over the place.
I wouldn’t be writing this email to you and you wouldn’t be reading it.
Because I’ve had the honour of working with 300+ clients in 9 countries, I have a pretty unique view into what makes or breaks career exploration and job search strategies.
So here are the some of the biggest pitfalls I’ve seen Guidance Counselling for Adults students make before they registered to work with me…
But first, a few announcements…
Guidance Counselling for Adults is now open
There will be 3 ways to go through this 5 week career coaching program (with options for lots of personal support from me like a 30 minute one-on-one coaching session with me).
Want to know more? Check out Guidance Counselling for Adults here.
The next time I’ll run GCA will be Fall 2019.
Let’s jump in…
Resumes and scrolling through online job postings is The Old Way to job search. It’s time-consuming, soul-sucking, and not very effective.
The New Way to job search focuses on getting referred or connected to job opportunities.
The core strategy of The New Way? Coffee chats (I talk about 9 reasons why coffee chats are worth it and how I’ve used them in my career here.)
Coffee chats are the single biggest game-changer for figuring out your next step, job searching, or changing careers.
Before you start coffee chats, you need to get your 4 building blocks in place:
- Establish your priorities
- Know how to frame your experience & identify your transferable skills
- Focus area(s)
- Prepare & practice
Learning about this stuff is one thing, but actually doing it is another thing altogether.
But if you never take action beyond info-gathering or planning, you’re not actually taking action that can lead to results.
This is normal—I see this with my clients all the time—and more importantly, it can be overcome.
Let’s unpack some of the things I’ve noticed that people have to get past in order to actually move into action.
I should ask for a job in a coffee chat
Your contact has made time for you, you’ve got their attention, maybe you already know that you want to work at their company or in one of the jobs that they have posted on their website.
It would be stupid to waste this opportunity right?
Nope. This is not a job interview, it’s a coffee chat and it’s essential to be respectful of that.
By having a coffee chat with you, your contact has signed up to answer your questions for 15-20 minutes (longer if you make a great impression). Your contact has NOT signed up to be asked for a job.
The two main goals of coffee chats
There are two main goals coffee chats will accomplish (if you’re doing them correctly).
- The short-term goal is to get your key questions answered about the job or organization.
- The long-term goal that is using your coffee chat to get you referred or connected to a job.
This means you have to be able to market your skills and experience and build a relationship with your contact during the coffee chat and afterwards.
This usually doesn’t happen instantly and it definitely won’t happen if you annoy your contact or pressure them.
You want to basically make friends with your contact. Make a great impression, follow up with them expertly, and then build on the relationship.
If you ask for a job or send them your resume without them asking you to, you’re coming on too strong and they probably won’t want to maintain a relationship with you.
That being said, I’ve seen the long-term goal happen quite quickly…
It starts as a coffee chat and then, because you’ve made such a great impression, the contact either suggests you apply for an opening they have, they’re willing to refer you to a friend who is hiring, or they follows up within a few days to offer opportunities.
I’ve had this happen for myself several times in my own career and I have watched this happen to my clients as well.
It’s also possible that the contact may ask you if you’re looking for a job.
Be honest (never lie in a coffee chat). This is your chance to tell them what you’re looking for.
Don’t know what you’re looking for? I’ll talk about how to answer this question in an upcoming blog post.
The whole point here is that achieving both the long-term goal AND the short-term goal of coffee chats most likely WILL NOT happen if you ask for a job.
To be clear this advice also applies to anything that even implies that you’re looking for a job…
Things like sending a resume to your contact without them requesting it, saying that you’re looking for a job, or looking to discuss “opportunities or where I fit in with your company.”
It all has the same effect on your contact as asking directly for a job. Don’t be that guy!
I should wait until I’ve quit my job
Please don’t. For the sake of your career and your sanity.
It is often much easier to start doing coffee chats while you’re still employed (or in school, as the case may be) for THREE main reasons…
#1 People often look more favourably upon people who are employed.
Annoying, I know, but it tends to be true.
I suspect part of the reason is because folks are concerned that they will be asked to give you a job which, of course, you won’t do because that is a sure-fire way to ruin a coffee chat (remember how we just covered this?).
But yeah, that’s what people are worried about.
#2 Chances are you will be less stressed and therefore more confident tapping into people’s brain trusts if you have a job.
If you’ve already quit your job, that means you may be burnt out, feeling negative, and/or have lost a lot of confidence.
And if you’ve come from a traumatic work environment, you may need to take some time to heal which postpones the ability to figure out your next step.
PRO TIP: If you’re wondering when you should quit your job, I usually recommend anticipating when your burnout point will be and then leaving a few steps before that point.
Yes, I realize that not everyone may be in the financial situation to do so—there’s a lot of privilege in being able to quit your job before you have another one lined up.
However, there is also a lot of mental health privilege in being able to stay in a job that is traumatic or difficult for your mental health.
#3 ABCC – Always Be Coffee Chatting.
You never know when you may need a new job due to a layoff, your job becoming obsolete, or a change in lifestyle is needed (like having kids or taking care of aging parents).
Coffee chat often, coffee chat strategically.
THIS is how you can avoid job searching altogether. It’s your career insurance.
“But what if I already quit my job?”
Don’t panic—you can still leverage coffee chats. It may take a bit of extra guts to get up the courage to start doing them but it is totally doable.
Start doing your coffee chats as soon as you’ve worked through your four coffee chat building blocks (your priorities, experience, focus area(s), preparation and practice).
And guess what? You don’t even have to say that you’ve left your job or give the reason why.
This is one of the huge benefits of leading with skills, not titles, when you talk about your experience.
No one will coffee chat with me
If you craft your coffee chat request to meet strategically and effectively, you greatly increase the chances that people will respond AND say yes.
Don’t underestimate the effort needed for your coffee chat requests, though.
Coffee chat requests are usually sent by email and you need to make sure you’re writing an email that makes it easy for people to say “yes” to your request.
I can’t start until I know the job I want
This is totally not true! And I write more about this here.
You have to have at least one focus area. Having more is fine but you have to start with one.
Whether that’s an interest, an industry, an impact, a skill, or a specific title, you have to have a focus area to be able to figure out the people whose brain trusts you want to tap into through coffee chats.
You don’t have to stick with your focus area but you do have to start somewhere.
This means you have to make a choice but you’re not married to it.
If it’s helpful, think of it like an experiment—an idea you’re testing out.
Chances are, it may evolve as you learn more (kind of like my example of my coffee chat about fashion styling).
Coffee chats have to be in person
Nope. They can be a phone chat, a Skype chat, or even an email chat.
And coffee is not always a part of an in-person meeting.
Why call it a coffee chat if it may not involve coffee?
Well, because it usually DOES involve coffee. And even if it doesn’t, it implies you only need a short amount of the contact’s time.
Plus, it sounds good ?
I’ve already tried coffee chats before
How did it go?
If you’ve figured out your next step and landed the job that’s right for you as a result of your coffee chats—awesome!
You can stop reading now because you probably don’t need it anymore.
But if you weren’t able to market your skills, build a relationship with your contact, get recommended for a job, or get connected to your contact’s network…
It means that something in your coffee chats process or building blocks isn’t working.
Not promoting yourself confidently & seamlessly
If you think you’re the only one with this challenge, I assure you—you are not alone. At least 75% of my clients struggle with this. Talking about your skills and experience can be especially challenging if you:
- Have had a non-linear career or are a generalist
- Feel like you don’t have any skills or aren’t sure of what your strengths are
- Have a range of skills and experience that don’t cohesively fit together (I see you generalists and multipotentialites out there)
- Are low in confidence, modest, or introverted and aren’t sure how to talk about your experience without it sounding awkward and feeling painful
- You’ve never really had feedback from your employer about your strengths
Regardless, learning how to come across as confident and how to frame your experience is essential for career exploration, the job search, and eventual job interviews.
And there’s a fine line between marketing yourself seamlessly and coming across as rehearsed.
With coffee chats, this is also one of the biggest missed opportunities I see in clients…
If you don’t share your experience, how will your coffee chat contact know which jobs, people, or organizations to refer you to?
Not doing enough coffee chats (or not doing them at all)
Confidence and motivation is a real doozy. They are probably the biggest reason why people don’t do coffee chats at all (or even reach out to contacts).
Folks wait until they’re perfectly confident (no such thing) or wait until they feel super motivated (may not happen) and yet it’s action that’s often fuel for our confidence and motivation.
And if people do end up doing coffee chats, they often don’t do enough of enough them.
Doing coffee chats is like planting seeds—you have to do a lot of them because it’s difficult to know which ones will grow and blossom.
I tell my Guidance Counselling for Adults students and 1:1 clients to plant as many seeds as possible—expect to do at least 5 coffee chats per focus area. The more you do, the more opportunities you cultivate for yourself. It also helps to get a range of insights so that you don’t get stuck with one person’s bad experience with their job.
Doing MORE coffee chats actually means LESS pressure on each individual coffee chat. If one doesn’t go well or the the contact is a dud, you have other ones to fall back on.
It’s ok to be afraid
This is not to minimize fear, it’s more to highlight that it’s possible to do coffee chats even while you are afraid or nervous.
Approaching potential coffee chat contacts incorrectly
What do I mean by “incorrectly”? Anything that doesn’t result in an enthusiastic coffee chat. This can include (but is not limited to):
- Reaching out to your network without having your building blocks in place
- Using language that sends red flags to contacts—”I’d like to pick your brain” is one example of this
- Asking your immediate network to intro you in a way that doesn’t set them (or you) up for success
- Responding haphazardly to introductions made by your contacts so that both your contact and the potential coffee chat person are turned off
- Doing coffee chat outreach but getting a “no” or not getting a response at all
- Cold emailing without results—you haven’t communicated your key messages clearly enough, you’ve come on too strong, or not strong enough (it’s such a delicate balance!)
And even if you do approach coffee chat contacts strategically, I’ve learned that many people don’t even end up asking the questions they want to.
Sure, they may have made a friend but they haven’t gained any insight into the career or job search strategies their trying to find out about.
PRO TIP: If you have super effective coffee chats, contacts may be willing to introduce you to their networks. This is how you can massively grow your network and get access to more coffee chat contacts.
Your guidance counsellor did not prepare you for this
We are not taught the kind of career exploration and job search strategies that the new economy requires. Your high school guidance counsellor definitely did not prepare you for this.
Learning the methods is only one piece of the puzzle…
Confidence, motivation, working with your fears (overcoming them is not required), and hustling sustainably and kindly are the other essential pieces that enable you to actually APPLY these methods.
Remember, you are not alone in this. So many people have the same challenges.
So to help you solve this problem, I created my online group program, Guidance Counselling for Adults, which is designed to teach you how to:
- Figure out your “Career Compass”—what’s important to you and what you need from a job and organization to be happy and engaged
- Unpack, identify, and package your skills and experience using 5 different strategies so that you can confidently talk about yourself
- Have strategic and effective coffee chats aka “optimized informational interviews” that help you get referred as the best candidate for the job. This includes step-by-step instructions outlining who to contact, how to approach them, what to say, and how to follow up. Templates and scripts are provided to make it as easy as possible for you
- Build motivation and confidence into your career exploration and job search while planning how to deal with potential setbacks and fears.
I’ve streamlined this process through hundreds of hours of work with my clients. I’ve done the research and tested out these methods so you don’t have to. This is the 7th or 8th time I’m running GCA!
If you’re planning on finding a new job or career in the next 6-12 months, Guidance Counselling for Adults can give you the support (and accountability) you need
GCA is now closed, and will be coming back soon!
There are 3 different levels of support to choose from. The levels with limited spots sell out in less than two weeks.
To learn more about the next time GCA will be running, please email info@kathrynmesiner.com.
PS: If you want my help with any of the strategies outlined in this blog post, Guidance Counselling for Adults is probably for you. Registration is currently closed, but you can certainly reach out and find out when the next GCA cohort will be.
PPS: Blog post summary: Coffee chats are AMAZING and are the core of the New Way to job search and change careers. However, they require a lot of preparation and effort to master them. Some important things to know about coffee chats…
- You don’t have to wait until you’ve quit your job to start doing them (but you can make it work if you’ve already quit).
- Don’t ask for a job in a coffee chat.
- You don’t need to wait until you know which job title you want to pursue.
- Make sure you do a ton of coffee chats (plant many seeds). Learn how to market your skills and experience.
- One of the big reasons coffee chats don’t happen is because the request to meet email isn’t effective.
- It’s ok to be nervous – you can still do coffee chats if you plan for your fears.
PPPS: If you learned something from this blog post, I’d love if you could share this blog post with friends or shared it on social media. Thanks!